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Post by Alcyone on Dec 19, 2007 13:47:32 GMT -5
This is a corollary to the first lesson. In the first lesson, the purpose was to vividly describe a tree, an object. This time, we'll be tackling portraits. A portrait is a full description of a person, both physical and emotional. Portraits are also good practice for characterization, which we'll tackle in a future class. You have two techniques for writing portraits and they're also the two techniques utilized to characterize. The first is direct characterization by which the writer tells how the character is. Strong willed and antagonistic, he alienated others with his brusque manner.The second is indirect, by which the writer shows but does not tell how the character is. "Get away from me!" he snarled, one hand raised threateningly. The people around him backed away hastily. "I can do this myself!"You can focus on whichever technique you feel more comfortable with but try to incorporate both in your portrait. Write something as short or as long as necessary in order to describe one of the Twilight characters, physically and emotionally. Like with the tree, I should visualize him/her easily after reading. Bear word choice closely in mind.
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Post by Bella's Humanity on Feb 9, 2008 22:20:47 GMT -5
Her diminutive size was deceiving. Alice was just as strong as the rest of her family. Under her marble skin lay hard muscles that could damage even the strongest of metals. She was no weakling. The fierce gaze in her golden eyes said it all; she was dangerous. But despite all that, Alice shone as bright as a star. The constant smile on her face could light up a room. And when it came to parties, the word "overdone" did not exist in her vocabulary.
Better?
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Post by Alcyone on Feb 29, 2008 10:24:17 GMT -5
Her diminutive size was deceiving. Alice was just as strong as the rest of her family. Under her marble skin lay hard muscles that could damage even the strongest of metals. She was no weakling. The fierce gaze in her golden eyes said it all; she was dangerous. Apart from the last line, everything else was grammatically correct. However, this isn't a portrait. A portrait is not just a physical description of someone, but an emotional one as well. You would need to add a few more lines to describe her character, as well.
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Post by ~**Courynne**~ on Oct 19, 2008 5:21:42 GMT -5
I don't know much about the twilight characters but I'll give it a try. I'll use Alice as I kind of know what she looks like from my cousin.
As she heard of her friends birthday, Alice quickly got to work. She was always interested in parties. She settled down on a lonely bench, her dark black hair falling gently by her marble white cheaks. She closed her honey coloured eyes and thought carefully about how to plan the party. 'Well...there will need to be heaps of decorations...pink preferably. Also a cake...birthday's always need cakes. There will be ballons and banners and lots of streamers! Alice could feel herself getting more and more excited about this party. She jumped up quickly and as she hit the sunlight, her skin glittered like crystals. Swishing her hair out of the way, Alice races straight home to get started on what she thought would be her friends best party ever!
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